“How terrible that a feckless layabout got more cash than a hardworking, honest person!” sneered the Daily Mail and everyone nodded along and agreed like good little citizens, with no thought for the people it would actually affect.
Come on, we all know why you still follow her; It’s the joy you feel when she posts the picture of her newborn because its funny looking (like her) and your children are way cuter.
Leaving them to it for a couple of days will only give them further ammunition to fight you with when you tell them you are at breaking point – “I kept on top of the house and kept the kids happy that weekend you went away, it was easy. You must be lazy”
Now, I am not saying that my child is the antichrist. Obviously, I immediately checked her head for the mark of the beast the first time she threw an epic tantrum and projectile vomited all over the kitchen wall because I wouldn’t let her chew on the cat’s tail.
The character I hate more than anything though, is that fucking Mother squirrel.
She lives up a tree, right? She could get an amazing Sky signal up there. But no, she has to live like it’s the middle ages.
It was only when I couldn’t ignore the huge, flapping red flags that I finally decided that enough was enough and that I couldn’t see him anymore, which was a charade in itself.
Oh, what great timing BBC. What a time for the Timelord to have a sex change seeing as the whole fucking world is at it at the moment. I’m going to put a bet on at Ladbrokes that the new side kick will pe a pan-sexual, transgender martian with tattoos and those massive, smelly ear hole piercings.
This is why I have no luck with men. I get drunk and say stupid lines that I have stolen from cheerleader films.