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Tips On Dating Old Ladies

She’s got stretch marks from those bastard children and the weight gain and loss, a saggy tummy from the cesarian overhang and wobbly thighs because she prefers sitting on her arse in the pub eating chips to moving around.

Tips For New Bloggers From A Total BlogCunt

“Bugger,” you think, as you look at all the Instagram photos of the big bloggers with their shite blogs and whiny children getting free holidays, “if only I had thought of standing in front of brightly coloured walls wearing Topshop five years ago, that could’ve been me”.