Let’s Get Serious Now

No matter what anyone tells you, it is not fun to be fat. It is depressing and tiring and makes you feel like crap all the time. You cannot wear those cute jeans and tops they make for skinny women or the sexy bra and panties from Victoria’s Secret. And, believe it or not, it does not make me happy that I can eat a whole box of donuts in one sitting. For one thing, it is expensive because you go through a lot of food. Second, you are never comfortable no matter how you are sitting or lying. Third, you cannot keep up with your kids. Do you know how embarrassing it is when your kid runs away at the grocery store, and you cannot catch him?

People Like Me More Now

It is true; many people look at me like I am disgusted but women seem to like me a lot more since I got fat. Like, they figure they do not have to worry about their man (or woman) hitting on me since I am such a pig, right? And it makes them look that much better when they are standing next to me. Also, I make a lot of jokes and make people laugh more. I don’t know if it is because I am a jolly and funny fat girl or because they are laughing at ME, not at my jokes.

For Real

Seriously though, it is not healthy either. Not that I worry too much about being healthy. I like to eat donuts, pizza, and McDonald’s. The thing is, being fat is going to cut down my lifespan drastically. I will have to be on tons of medication for the rest of my life for diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and yes, even depression. Even the Prozac makes me gain weight, which is ironic because it is the only thing that helps my depression so what is helping me is also hurting me. Typical.

I Want to Live Long Enough to See My Grandkids

But, what I want to talk about it how to make things better. Don’t get me wrong, I know I will never be skinny and beautiful. But, I would like to get healthy enough to play with my kids at the park and live long enough to see them get married and have kids of their own. How can I stop myself from eating bags of chips and boxes of cookies when I am bored? What is wrong with me? Some experts suggest that if you eat a lot of food at one sitting when you are not hungry, then you probably have binge eating disorder (BED). After reading this, I thought, great, it is a real thing, and now I can get help. Too bad these experts have no idea what causes it. And they are still not sure how to cure it.

The BED Cycle

According to experts, this disorder has a cycle. And it makes sense to me because this sounds exactly like what I go through every day.

  1. First, you try to restrict your eating.
  2. Then, you start feeling like you need to eat…ANYTHING
  3. You eat EVERYTHING you can find
  4. Feel depressed, guilty, hopeless, and ashamed
  5. Start dieting again

Yes, I do this almost every day. I wake up thinking, today I am going to be good and not eat 5,000 calories like I did yesterday. But, by lunch, my stomach is growling, and I feel like I am starving even though I had a banana and small bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. By dinner, I am on my second bag of chips and thinking about starting on the cookies. Yep, I have BED. So, what can I do about it?

Treatment for BED

Many of the experts say a chemical imbalance may cause BED in the brain (just like my depression) or it could be genetic. So, there is not a lot I can do about the genetics, but I can start on a new medication, right? There are different types of SSRIs and other antidepressants that can help with this. I am sure my doctor can find something to go with my Prozac that may help. The problem is, it takes a while to start working. So, therapy is my best bet in the meantime. Cognitive behavioral therapy is supposed to be the most successful form of treatment for BED. The way it works it by identifying triggers and changing the way you react to those triggers. The best part is that I can do CBT without leaving my house because it is available as an online therapy. That is perfect for people like me who put things off until…well, forever if I can. So, online CBT and medication it is. I will let you know how it works.


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