So, your kid has been chosen to play Mary or Joseph, the Angel or one of the Three Kings!
You are the best! It’s clearly because you are a wonderful parent and all that pregnancy yoga and all the shitty baby Einstein DVDs are now paying off. Well done you! (The kid couldn’t give a shit, this is about YOU).
Actually, before we go on, let me just break it to you that none of the other parts matter. I am truly sorry if your kid is playing a sheep. Or a bush. Or a tree. Your child will never know what it’s like to peak at 4, and you will never be able to put up a braggy post on Facebook. And lets face it: no Instagram filter is going to fix the fact that your child is picking his nose dressed in a Ben Ten t-shirt because he refused to dress as a star.
There is one drawback to your child being one of the star attractions – making a costume.
Yeah, you can Google “Mary Nativity Costume” and order a ready made one off Amazon but you will have left it to the evening before the play to think about a costume, so not even prime delivery will be able to save you.
Here’s where I come in.
I’ve had years of Nativity crap. I don’t mean to brag, but my son was Joseph three times and my three year old is about to play Mary. Acting skills are clearly in the genes. Sewing skills however are lacking, as is my fore site to get my shit together until the eve of the play, so over the years I have devised a fool proof costume hack that will not only cover you for Nativity plays, but anything that requires your child to dress as a Roman, an Egyptian or a 16th Century Serf.
You will only need three things:
- A white pillow case
- a blueish t-towel
- a pair of scisors
Yes. That’s it. There is no sewing required, unless you want to be a knob and embellish the assemble in some way.
Look. Here are some badly taken photos with poorly written instructions (my child wouldn’t put the costume on, so it’s being modelled by the dining table and a biscuit tin).
The the white pillow case and cut a few inches off the bottom. More if your child is lanky, less if short and stubby.
Cut a slit for the neck and cut a line down the middle, big enough for your child’s head to fit through. Too big and it will fall off their shoulders; too small and they will whinge to fuck that you are pulling off their ears as you wrestle it on.
Cut two slits in the sides for arms.
Take your t-towel – I like to use an old tea stained one that I use to clean up cat sick to give a more authentic look – and cut a strip for a belt.
For the head covering, take the left over tea towel and a bit of the bottom of the pillowcase and fashion it into something that the child will keep on it’s head for thirty seconds.
AND THAT IS IT.
You can make this nativity costume in under five minutes (fifteen if you have only remembered the little bugger needs one after your second bottle of wine the night before the play).
Oh and top tip: When your child outgrows pillowcases, used the end of a toddler or single duvet cover. You’re welcome.