I’ve been cringing at myself since things finished a few months ago.
Those who know me in real life will know the one I am talking about: the friend who I took total leave of my senses for and started seeing for a while.
I knew he was a bit unhinged and carried on regardless and I still can’t tell you why. It was only when I couldn’t ignore the huge, flapping red flags that I finally decided that enough was enough and that I couldn’t see him anymore, which was a charade in itself.
I knew he would be hard to get rid of due to the fact that he was a bit insular and had nothing else to do but keep wrapped up in every little problem that he came across, but I didn’t know that it would take weeks to finally shake him off.
I tried to be nice, I really did, but in the end I had to be harsh, to which he kept saying, “this doesn’t sound like you”, and to which I wanted to say, “mate, this is me when I am pissed off that someone won’t listen to me and FUCK OFF”.
I know being broken up with isn’t very nice, but there comes a point when you have to take it on the chin and move on. Sending long winded, whiney emails doesn’t help anyone and is actually really off putting in itself – especially when those emails are then contradicted by nasty messages.
Constantly slagging off the other person to everyone also isn’t very nice and I guess that is a glimpse into his mental health, as is the correspondence I have had with his ex-ex girlfriend – who is actually lovely and not the monster he made her out to be – who said she should have warned me about what he was like as a boyfriend.
Would I have listened to her? Yes, I really would have. Having known him for years and what he was like as a friend, I would have welcomed the heads up on what kind of boyfriend he was, because lets face it, you can be friends with someone for years but you never know what someone is really like until you are in a relationship with them.
I wish him the best, I really do and I would have told him that myself if I hadn’t have become the object of his hatred, rants and blocking sprees, but I think someone needs to tell him that he can’t keep on letting life pass him by.
To do that, he needs some form of therapy. And therapy can be daunting. How do you find the right person to help you? What if you are too afraid to go and talk to someone.
You can find help online There are people out there who will help you. I can only hope that my ex can access these services.