Yes, I have a massive problem with the new Dr. Who being a woman.
My problem is this: I am not a lesbian.
I am shallow as fuck, so to be able to enjoy a television programme, film or even listen to music, I have to fancy the leading man.
I was never a fan of Dr. Who pre it’s early 2000’s comeback, but Christopher Eccleston was the comeback Dr. – not that I really fancy him, BUT he was in 28 Days Later, Which is one of my favourite films as it’s semi apocalyptic and stars Cillian Murphy (phwoor), which makes Christopher Ecclestone fit by association.
And I did fall totally in love with that series of Dr. Who, I loved it.
And then….David Tennant! Oh, lovely, lovely David with his gorgeous face. He was brilliant and I watched every episode a hundred times, even the slightly ropey ones.
Oh and Captain Jack! Lovely, lovely, gorgeous, strapping Captain Jack in his World War 2 uniform – until John Barrowman ruined it by turning up everywhere dancing around being camp and cosying up to Lorraine and the Loose Women.
Then came shovel boy.
You know the one I mean, God, he’s vile. How could a Dr as fit as David Tennant regenerate into THAT. What a fucking waste. I tried to watch one episode with him in it, but I couldn’t get through it. I didn’t fancy him at all. My love affair with Dr. Who was over.
Then the old bloke – oh come on, PLEASE. It’s like they gave up entirely on sex appeal.
And now a woman.
Oh, what great timing BBC. What a time for the Timelord to have a sex change seeing as the whole fucking world is at it at the moment. I’m going to put a bet on at Ladbrokes that the new side kick will pe a pan-sexual, transgender martian with tattoos and those massive, smelly ear hole piercings.
It’s been an explosion of “Yay for women!” and ugh, it’s all so daft and who really cares? Like I am suddenly going unleashed from the kitchen sink and a life of objectification just because Dr. Who is a woman*
I don’t want a woman Dr. Who. I want a fit bloke to perv over on a Saturday night.
*Yes, yes, it all has to start somewhere. I know. But Dr.Who? Really? Ever feel like you see a bandwagon being jumped on?