Successful Bloggers are Fucking Cunts

I am getting a bit pissed off with this blogging thing.

This site never started out as a blog, and to me, it still isn’t. It’s just somewhere handy to bung all the shit I write in one place.

To me a blog (and especially a parenting blog) is a shit-boring diary of your life that has fuck all interest for anyone else. I don’t want to read a blow by blow account of your terrible day at home with the toddlers and how you guzzled wine at the end of it because you may be a parent, but you can still bitch and moan and get pissed and isn’t that cool.

I have read a lot of parenting blogs.

Some are great; funny, interesting and written by people who are genuinely witty and great writers, but most are as dull as you can get, and what I can’t understand is, these seem to be the ones who are getting all the views and making all the money.

I look at some of these huge blogs and wonder what I am missing. Should I want to see a thousand Instagram photos of children I don’t know wearing the latest tie-dye leggings, or watch video after video of another family’s day out at the zoo?

I don’t care how great you think Tommee Tippee bottles are, or if Aldi nappies are better than Asda, and I certainly couldn’t give a shit about how your child, who I will never meet, is doing at school.

I never mention my children in anything I write, because why would I, even I don’t find them very interesting. Unless it’s in parody, and then most of it is made up for comic effect. I am first and foremost a fiction writer, in other words, I like to make shit up (with the exception of the misery porn I write, sadly, that’s all too real). I don’t write a dairy of my shit life for people I don’t know to read.

Because along with accounts of how the baby is sleeping or gushing posts about their wonderful husbands, this is all these sites are to me; a diary of someone I don’t know and their over Instagrammed life.

You know when you read posts that go. “Oh, I feel so guilty about putting my children on my blog and social media, am I doing the right thing?” They really piss me off. I always want to say, “Post away love, no one actually cares”.

 But they get all the views.

I read a post by someone on a Facebook group the other day who linked to a blog of hers that had received over 50,000 views. 50,000. It was crap; poorly written and boring, but lapped up by readers.

I have been writing for years and I used to make a pretty good living from it.

Now, there is so much competition for work that I will happily write any old crap for a £50 fee and link to anything anyone wants as long as they pay me for it.

I never used to do that because I was able to pick and chose work and my fee for writing an article was a lot higher than £50.

I swear work has dried up since every one with a blog has started describing themselves as a ‘freelance writer’. PR companies have cottoned on to this and now, the world of writing content has totally changed.

I am being a bitch and I don’t mean to be. Sorry.

Maybe I should join them and write about going to a National Trust house for a picnic and take a thousand photos of my toddler until I find one where she doesn’t look possessed by demons to use as the featured photo. Or maybe, I should just put up the photo of her throwing a tantrum and caption it “arghhh! I need gin!”

Or maybe I should stop writing about shagging and stop littering every paragraph with the words ‘fucking’ and ‘cunt’.

Should I do what everyone else does and make my site polished?

I know this website looks crap. I did it in one night while drunk.

I know I just google a funny picture to go with the title of whatever I have written. I know I am braking a billion Google rules by having multiple content all over the internet, but I don’t care.

I don’t even have social media follow buttons, because fuck you, blogging rules.Actually it’s because  don’t know how to put them  up, and I am not sure you want to follow me on twitter anyway; I mostly just tell my boyfriend that I love him and moan about being fat while eating ice cream and chugging Prozac.

My Instagram is no better. I don’t have one of those fake, polished social media lives so it’s all quite depressing and Facebook is just my personal moaning ground.

Anyway, I don’t like all this at the moment and I am seriously thinking of what to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

33 Comments »

  1. I love this post! I may not wholeheartedly agree with it all but I love that you’ve had the guts to say what you think. I put a lot of thought into my posts and try to make them universal rather than just a diary entry but I struggle for page views, then I see big bloggers whose posts are littered with typos and grammatical errors and I wonder why I bother!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love your writing. I have one of those banal blogs that doesn’t really offer anything to the reader. I’m okay with that though because I feel like if I’m aware then I’m in on the joke. Probably not how it works though. Don’t sell out and stop swearing, your writing is totally addictive x

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I think you should just keep on writing whatever you feel like writing. You are a great writer and I’d like to think that you’ll get more recognition for it at some point. I write what I write because I enjoy doing it. I don’t think my blog comes off as a diary. I do try to write something useful to a stranger and not just some random crap about my unoriginal life. But you are correct that there are so many big, full-time bloggers out there who aren’t even particularly good writers, let alone sharing anything terribly compelling. I think if you have lots of time on your hands to spend promoting your blog, then you can get the pageviews in no matter what the content.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I totally agree with all of this. I find the same issue with lifestyle blogger. Most of them don’t have a clear voice or anything new to say. Just posting more and more photos of skincare products with a list of names and prices.
    I have started doing some more generic lifestyle-type posts which do gain loads of traffic (beats me why) but I do try to stamp my own style on them in the way that I talk about things.
    It is crazy to me that the blogging world is so over saturated with women talking about their new sofa cushions yet the more bland the dialogue the more popular the website!

    Like

  5. I’m a mum… Don’t have a blog & don’t drink! I certainly don’t fit in to the mould.
    Like reading a variety of blogs but not those who are desperate for followers, automatic posts & constant reposts of old posts. Straight away I’m unfollowing. .. but what do I know? ! If I don’t guzzle a bottle of gin or wine a night and leave my child in front of Cbeebies all day I don’t fit in! #clique #allaboutbalance #writingstandardissopoor

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yep, I get what you mean. It seems that every blog these days is the same format. I do the whole drinking thing but only in the mummy princess parodies. I’m always told I don’t use twitter proper because I don’t use an automated system to promote old post etc, but I hate that on other peoples feeds, it’s like following a robot

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I couldn’t get myself to read any of those blogs as they are all about adverts and thousands of baby photos free to copy by all pedos. I think I am
    Boring sometimes but not that boring. How the hell they get all those 50.000 views? I barely get 40 on a good day and am happy about it

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The more I read on here, the more i think/fear we may potentially be kindred spirits. I am a blogger. I write about the shit I do and things I think, with no real strategy, rhyme nor reason. My Instagram is a messy snapshot of my cats and food. No themes or analytics here baby! My kids are now teenagers and rarely feature on the blog as they’d possibly disown me if I tried.

    I am also a content writer by trade. These days, setting up a blog seems to also allow most folk on Linkedin to market themselves as ‘editor/owner/freelance writer/journalist’. I recently got offered $25 to provide an 800 article for a wedding publication (this is my speciality and frankly, I’m bloody good at it). When I declined, I was informed that there a plenty of others that would do it instead. Nice.

    I see ‘Mummy Bloggers’ raking in £250 for a badly written, clunky sponsored post and ultimately, earning more than I do in my salaried, office-based content role. Yes, the aforementioned quality is often poor, but you know what? Maybe it’s US missing a trick here. If brands are willing to pay big bucks for that level of copy, then so be it.

    Maybe I should shirk my complete lack of maternal instinct and convince the hubby to get me pregnant, solely as a new business venture? I can finally jack in my slightly soul-destroying 50 hour a week grind and share mind-numbing pictures whilst drinking gin at home instead 😉

    PS Before I get lynched, I’m joking – kind of.

    Liked by 2 people

      • Haha, I’m just feeling jaded today so my comment MAY have reflected that somewhat! My WordPress site is just the basic one that hosts my actually blog (tech is not my strong point) and I won’t ‘link drop’ but if you Google That British Betty, it should put you on the right track!

        Like

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