Mummy Princess and The Halloween Cake – A notaneffingfarytale Horror Story (Also a not very well disguised review for Bakerdays).
It was the 31st of October.
A harsh wind rattled through the old windows making the curtains billow, and hailstones slammed against the roof, threatening to break through the slates at any moment. The power had gone out, so the Castle was lit with candles.
“I do live in a shithole, don’t I?” Mused Mummy Princess as she sat under a blanket drinking a can of Stellla and lighting her fag off a candle shaped like a cactus.
Suddenly, there was a rusting outside the front door. Slow footsteps could be heard and in the dim glow of the moonlight, a dark shadow appeared at the glass panel.
“Shit, Princess Tantrum is in bed. If they ring the fucking doorbell, I will kill them.” Thought Mummy Princess, angrily.
The footsteps stopped and the letterbox rattled as a box dropped onto the mat in front of it.
Mummy Princess tiptoed slowly to down the hall, not daring to breathe as she squinted her eyes to see what had been sent to her.
It was a box.
A white box.
Tentatively, Mummy Princess opened the very well packaged box.
Inside was a tin, as well as some balloons and candles.
“Nice touch,” thought Mummy Princess “but who has sent it?”
As she opened the cake Tin, Mummy Princess could smell an amazing aroma of sweet buttercream, but then she saw this:
It was a Halloween cake from the The Wicked Witch, her evil Mother in Law. It was obviously sent as a warning to make sure Christmas was held at the Evil Castle this year.
(Apparently, she had only ordered it yesterday! What a service!)
“Ah, sod it, I’ll eat it anyway. What’s the worst that can happen?” Said Mummy Princess as she took a big bite.
The cake was delicious and a lot moister than she expected, although a little more butter cream wouldn’t have gone a miss, the icing was lovely and not too sweet.
Suddenly, Mummy Princes felt a little bit funny. She felt her brain shrinking, her arse growing and her taste in men becoming peculiar.
Mummy Princess looked in the Magic Mirror and saw this staring back at her:
Mummy Princess screamed a scream so foul that it was heard in the depths of hell.
“She’s turned me into Kim Kardashian!”
Disclaimer: Bakerdays sent me a free cake. I didn’t tell Bakerdays I was mental, but I did keep this story clean. The cake was actually really nice and the decoration looked great. Candles and balloons and party blower thing are a nice touch. Packaging was ace too and the cake dropped thought the letterbox unscathed. You can choose your design and everything. Bakerdays if you like this review, we can be friends. And remember; friends send each other cakes from time to time.