Don’t Be A Twat

“I say it like I see it.”
“I call a spade a spade.”
“Honesty is the best policy.”

I cannot begin to tell you how much the above statements make me want to punch things. They are usually dolled out by middle aged women who work in offices, called Debbie or Jackie, who are slightly over weight and wear far too much blue eye shadow (oh, come on, I bet you have all met a few).

These women – and it is mostly women – take pride in telling people exactly what they think of any given situation.

This is true even when they are being nasty to someone’s face and making them feel small, which actually, is the whole point of the Debbie and Jackie. They like to put other people down under the guise of being honest and “calling it as they see it”. It’s just a way to be really rude and nasty while hiding behind an honest persona.

They are also the Queens of the saying, “I’m not being rude but …..” followed by something that is, actually, very offensive to the person they are referring to.

“I’m not being rude, but you have put on a bit of weight”

“I only had the baby six months ago, give me a chance!”

“Oh, don’t get defensive! I’m just being honest, I say it as I see it”.

The person they were talking to walks off feeling terrible about themselves, while Debbie or Jackie hoists her busom and smiles a smug smile.

“I was only saying it how it is, you know me.” She will say to the stunned on lookers.

See? Rude and totally uncalled for.

They aren’t even thinly veiled digs, they are full on, nasty comments dressed up as honesty.

There is a time for honesty and a time for telling white lies out of kindness.

When someone is feeling really down and not taking care of themselves the last thing they want to be told is that they look like shit. A bit of compassion goes a lot further than stark honesty. Although, the Debbie’s and Jackie’s are never trying to help, are they? All this ‘call a spade a spade’ bullshit is just a ploy to speak to people with utter contempt and make them feel as rubbish as they do inside.

Any form of nastiness is born from jealousy or feelings of low self worth. The person who is ‘just being honest’ with you probably feels horrible about themselves; the person who tells you that you’ve put on weight probably doesn’t like what they see in the mirror; the person who tells you that you are too old to wear that dress probably wishes they still had a figure like yours.

When I was growing up, we only had one rule in our house. It was, ‘Don’t be a twat’.

It covers all bases. If you stop being a twat, you stop being nasty, judgmental, racist – you get the point, it covers it all.

Don’t Be A Twat.

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