I Think This Makes Me PR Unfriendly

I got a free cake.

But they didn’t write cunt on it.

Probably because I didn’t even ask them to because the lady on the phone sounded so bloody nice. It would have been like saying the word cunt to my Granny.

I stood there, talking to her, thinking “I really need this cake to say cunt on it somewhere” but the words wouldn’t come out. Because she was telling me about her daughter who is the same age as me and writes a cookery blog.

The word ‘cunt’ was going round and round in my head.

She told me her name was Barbara, Babs for short.

Cunt. Cunt. Cunt.

We spoke about me reviewing the cake, what design it would be to fit in with the blog so I could write a funny story around it – I am not just going to do a bland review now am I?

Cunt. Cunt. Cunt.

She told me about all their wonderful fillings and flavours and I told her about the time I made Disney think I was mental and it was ok if they used the ripped off photo I sent them because Disney can kiss my arse.

Cunt. Cunt. Cunt.

She laughed and told me about the time she knitted her grandchild a Mickey Mouse toy but it went all wonky and looked like it had been run over.

I thought about a scarf that I saw on the internet with Cunt knitted into it.

“What shall the cake say?” the kind lady asked.

I didn’t say cunt. I came up with something very innocuos that would still go with the whole blog identitiy.

Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. Round and Round in my head.

We both laughed. We both said how lovely it was to talk to each other and she wished me well with the blog.

Cunt.Cunt. Cunt.

“Bye my love, and good luck.”She said kindly.

Cunt. Cunt. Cunt.

“Bye, Cunt” Said I.

 

(Review is here by the way. Now they think I really am a nut job).

 

Mouse Moo Me Too

28 Comments »

  1. HAHAHAHA!! Oh how I love this!!! I know so many people have heart palpitations at the word cunt but I rather like it. I have a great tribe of other insane women who do too…we call each other cunt in jest and are constantly buying cut themed gifts…I never thought of a cake…I’m gonna win the cunt war!!!

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  2. See now I loves all the swears but the c-bomb does make my eyes bleed a bit. It’s now well and truly in my head though so if I accidentally drop it next time I’m thinking about cake (which let’s face it, when am I not?) I shall think of you very fondly! 😉 Love the review! #chucklemums x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Haha I love your posts! I constantly swear in my blog posts, including the word cunt and when I started just over a year ago – I was often told directly and indirectly from other, more successful bloggers – that swearing was an absolute NO NO from a PR/ work with brands point of view. Yet here I am swearing like a fish wife and working with PR companies and brands. Its all a load of bollocks – write great content, be yourself, swear all you like – next time get the CUNT CAKE #stayclassymama

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  4. OMFG!!! Bahahahaha!! I don’t understand bakers sometimes and I am one. When you want a cake a certain way, you want a cake a certain way. Tried to get a penis cake once from a home baker for a bachelorette party… haha. There was dead silence. I said, “Hello?” I could imagine her pursing her lips on the other end of the phone with the terse, “I don’t do *that* kind of baking,” response she gave me. I wanted to say, “Look, lady, it’s not like I called and asked for a dick cake. I politely asked for a penis.”

    Like

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