Mummy Princess V’s The Evil Corporation

Mummy Princess is quite pissed off today.

So pissed off that she went to Ye Olde Shoppe and bought all the ice creams to stuff in her face.

 Mummy princess is used to getting lots and lots of shitty messages, mainly because she has a nice little sideline to all the Princessing where she writes things that go in Newspapers and on the Telly and that. Sometimes people don’t like what Mummy Princess says, and usually she doesn’t give a fuck, but today she got a very nasty email.

Some nasty Princesses from another Kingdom have threatened to boycott an awards ceremony for writing if Mummy Princess is included in the best writer category because Mummy Princess says fuck and cunt alot and sometimes writes about serious shit that other people don’t like.

 Let me get this straight: Mummy Princess would usually give no fucks about what other people think of her, but this was the icing on the cake to a day of arguments with one of the biggest companies in the world, who also don’t like notaneffingfairytale.

Mummy Princess is used to getting in trouble for what she writes and doesn’t usually write under her real name, primarily for this reason. But in recent weeks, Mummy Princess has got bolder and decided to put her name to stuff and put in on the internet in the form of a blog-that-isnt-a-blog.

She is now in trouble with a big social media network for all the swears and they keep refusing to sponsor her posts unless she makes them nice and sterile. One of the biggest blogging collectives is also angry at Mummy Princess for all the swears (but she brings them all the internet hits and they know it, so they just fanny about with their threats and never actually delete her articles, no matter how many times she dares, double dares or triple dares them to) and now a big corporation are a bit pissed off too and it’s all a bit much.

Mummy got a very long email from this corporation telling her off, to which she replied:

OMG, is this really you, MICKY MOUSE?

They didn’t find that funny. I don’t think Mummy Princess will be getting any free shit from them like the other bloggers do. That’s okay though, because Mummy Princess thinks they are not nice people with very questionable origins and ethics.

It turns out that it wasn’t Mickey Mouse, it was his branding representative and they didn’t think it was funny. So they sent Mummy Princess another email where they used the words ‘copy’ and ‘right’ quite a lot.

OH MY GOD, this made Mummy Princess very happy.

Mummy Princess also whores herself out to websites and writes content for them – she’s a copywriter! (Bear with me)

Mummy Princess very excitedly fired off this response:

Oh, How wonderful, you read the ‘about me’ section on my website and now you want me to write content for you! Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes please! Can I live in the Mickey Mouse Club House? I’ll walk Pluto and clean up Donald Duck’s shit and everything (that duck should really wear trousers, you know).

Can I also write your films? I have ALL the ideas. I think we should go gritty. Misery porn is so in right now. Let’s let Minnie go off the rails and tell the story of her fall from grace and the subsequent return from her prostitution funded heroin addiction.

I so look forward to hearing from you – I am booking my one-way ticket to Hollywood right now!

P.s. if this isn’t Mickey (as you quite rudely stated in your email – honesty, there was no need to be such a wanker), then are you the Evil Witch? Because you really don’t sound very happy. Maybe you should try shoving some of that famous ***** magic up your arse.

P.p.s. With regard to your pictures – OH MY GOD, YES I CAN! They are not actually original and are all on Google images, it wasn’t me that fucked with them.

P.p.p.s I don’t think you are correct in saying I am sullying anyone’s name: I think you will find that happened to your company A LONG time ago.

P.p.p.p.s Now might be the wrong time to ask, but can I have four complimentary tickets to your one of your theme parks please?

There has been no further response as I think the branding department has deemed Mummy Princess fucking Batshit and no threat at all to them.

After Mummy Princess ate all the ice creams and calmed down a bit, she actually thought it was all quite funny.

Mummy Princess doesn’t need silly awards or free shit to make her feel all warm and fluffy inside. She is used to no one knowing who she is and other people getting the recognition for the funny things she writes and she is okay with that now and just likes getting the money without all the shit that comes with it.

But just once, it might be nice to be included with all the other writers and have someone say well done and get given free shit to review like the others do.





3 Little Buttons
The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback



  1. YOU ROCK! And I’d march in a parade to say so, right through those kingdom doors with a giant sign and a megaphone! And you are absolutely correct about Donald’s pants. It’s quite disturbing actually. Full frontal duck and all. Agh. I celebrate you and look forward to every post. I may have no money, but I have a sense of humor and that should count for something in this crazy world. Mwah and ❤ ❤ ❤ to you! #BigPinkLink


  2. Whaaaat. See to my mind he thing about blogging – if you don’t like it don’t read it! Simples. No need for arsy-ness eh. As everyone has rightly pointed out good on you for staying true yourself! #bigpinklink


  3. Really?? Some other bloggers have threatened to boycott a ceremony because of the swears? That’s really quite dreadful, and surely, them boycotting it will be a good thing, because they clearly have no sense of humour and will bring down the whole event anyway. Is it the Mumsnet awards (you don’t have to answer, I just know that it’s coming up.) If it is, there is another writer nominated who swears just as much as you, so I hope she is getting the same treatment! Honestly, what the feck is wrong with some people? I wouldn’t worry too much about the free shit-I don’t get offered much of it, due the slightly (not as much as you,) sweary nature of my blog at times. Apparently, you have to run it passed the PR if you want to say anything negative about a product anyway, and there’s all kind of things they can do, libel suits and all sorts, if you say something good enough! Jesus, selling your soul much?! Anyway, I’m hugely impressed that you have come under the radar of that big corporation-it must impress you too that they’ve heard of you, right?! And your response-bloody brilliant!!!!!!!! Awesomeness, loving your work!!


  4. No wayyyyyy! I totally agree with the sentiment here – stay true to yourself mama and if people don’t like it and how you’re putting it…well they can blardy well eff off! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub with your badass ways! x


  5. This is the first time I’ve read your blog and I actually love it.
    What’s an award or free shit if you have to sell your soul (by soul I mean authenticity and narrative voice). And yeah ok free shit would still be nice. And if I had lots of free shit I’d totally get you to review it, at least you’d be honest. I’m sick of namby pamby reviews of things that are obvs shit. Dear readers are not stupid and can see right through it. #coolmumclub


  6. Never sell out for a piece of pride and glory. I once bought a skinny fitting suit so I could look like prince charming at and awards bash. Yes I came home with cherished silver, but now my tailoring serves as a reminder of just how much fatter I am. Donald duck can do one too, with his cunty little bow tie.


  7. Never sell out a piece of pride and glory. I once bought a skinny fitting suit so I could look like prince charming at and awards bash. Yes I came home with cherished silver, but now my tailoring serves as a reminder of just how much fatter I am. Donald duck can do one too, with his cunty little bow tie.

    Liked by 1 person

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