Parenting Haikus


Will you go to sleep

I need a drink and Geordie Shore

PLEASE for God’s sake, sleep




It’s 5am, WHY

Why do you need a wee, right now?

You hate me, don’t you?



Do you need a wee?

Tell me now, before we leave

Oh you little **** ****



Where is my mobile?

Someone must know, fucks sake

Washing machine. Crap


Did you wet the bed?

No, it wasn’t a goblin

We need more washing powder



I’ve had enough sleep

Said no parent ever. Ever.

The children all laugh

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