There are some days when we all feel like terrible parents who are wrecking the lives of our precious children with out terrible choices. This is rarely true and the mere fact that you are worrying about your parenting style and its consequences actually mean that you are probably a pretty good parent.
It’s so easy to start second guessing yourself and you can start to wonder if you are doing anything right; chances are you are doing great and here’s why:
- Your child has tantrums
This is a good thing because it means you are setting positive boundaries. If your child is on the floor, kicking and screaming in Tesco because you have said no to a bar of chocolate it can be hard not to give in to keep the peace, especially when you can feel the whole supermarket staring at you and silently judging your parenting. Keep firm, because you are teaching your child two very important lessons in life; that they can’t always have the thing they want and that when you say no, you mean no. Let people stare and rise above it.
- You sometimes give in
Okay, so there are days when you just can’t stand firm all the time and a night off to order a pizza after you have lectured your children on healthy eating will not harm them. It can be fun to let go once in a while and decide to go to the McDonalds drive through on the way home from school because you don’t feel like cooking. Don’t beat yourself up for giving yourself a break once in a while.
- You shout
Sometimes ‘positive parenting’ just doesn’t work. We’ve all raised our voices at our children, weather it was out of anger, frustration or our of fear for their lives as they ran into the road. This doesn’t make you a bad parent; it makes you a normal human being with feelings that sometimes blurt out. Part of being a good parent is equipping our children for life and showing them that not every one can hold their cool all the time.
- You go to work
You work full time to provide shelter, food and clothing for your family. You are knackered, cranky and don’t feel like there are enough hours in the day to do everything, yet you are still there when you children need you and you try your best to get to every school play and carol concert on time. You are constantly juggling the demands of work and housework and for this you are a superstar.
- You stay at home
You ferry the children to school each morning and then set about doing the housework with a screaming toddler in tow. Everyday is a never-ending battle with washing, cleaning and food shopping with the occasional toddler group thrown in just to keep you on the verge of a nervous breakdown. There don’t seem to be enough hours in the day for the school run, the house work, the endless lists of spelling and math’s problems to help with, but you manage to juggle it all – for this, you are also a superstar.
- You can’t stand your In-Laws but you are nice to them anyway
Your mother in law is the biggest pain in the neck and you sometimes wish you could never see her again but you do, every week when you invite her for Sunday dinner. You put up with her because your children (the traitors) love her and look forward to her visits and presents of inappropriately huge bars of chocolate. The only reason you nod and smile through these horrendous visits is that they make your children happy and you want them to know their family.
- Children’s television drives you nuts but you still know all the characters
No one in their right mind would chose to watch Cbeebies; after ten minuets of viewing a saint would be driven to kill Iggle Piggle. Even your once drink fuelled Glastonbury trips have been taken over by sitting in the kid’s field drinking lemonade and watching performances by Mr. Tumble. You sit though hours of endless rubbish because your children love Bing more than life itself and you want to share that joy with them – even if you are imagining Bing served up in a rabbit casserole after the sixth episode.